Charis Read online

  Mildred could hardly contain her excitement. All these years she had waited for this moment – her husband dead and now she, as the widow, would inherit Meadow Lea Hall, the estate and the home farm. All to be hers and Henry's.

  Alas for her, William proved to be more astute than she’d thought. His will was watertight. She was to get an annual allowance and the right to remain in the house as a permanent guest for her lifetime. For Henry? Nothing. The will noted that William had provided the very best, and most expensive education for the boy and he felt that was all he was owed. The property and all his money was left in its entirety to his daughter Elizabeth, and to “the heirs of her body” after her. If Elizabeth died childless it was to go to an heir with Beresford blood, believed to be a distant cousin living somewhere in Australia. And to any children that Elizabeth may have, the same conditions were to apply. William had done his best to ensure that neither Mildred nor her son would benefit from all her scheming.

  After that, things settled down a bit. Mildred seemed resigned and Henry was usually off in some isolated part of the world “digging up dead people and things,” as Elizabeth used to say. When Elizabeth found she was to have a baby her joy was full, her only disappointment that her father hadn't lived to see his grandchild. But she was well and had an easy pregnancy. She and Paul enjoyed buying all the baby things and when they discovered it was a girl, spent hours trying to decide on a name. They finally chose Charis Jane; Charis just because they liked it, but they liked it even more when they found out it meant “divine grace,” and Jane after Elizabeth's mother. Elizabeth was so full of good health that it was all the more dreadful that she died bringing her precious little baby into the world. Paul changed his mind about his new daughter's name by adding Elizabeth. She was to be known as Charis Elizabeth Jane Ainslie.

  *****

  Paul was devastated at the death of his wife. They’d been married for only three years, but he obviously adored his baby daughter and devoted his life to taking care of her. It was fortunate that he was able to continue his writing and provide a good living for them. He also had sufficient money to upgrade many things that needed doing to Meadow Lea Hall. He put in several en-suite bathrooms, had the heating modernised and the whole house rewired and re-roofed. Then all the little utility rooms were converted into one with the kitchen and it was brought up to date with all the latest appliances and gadgets. Mrs. Patterson was elated with her new domain and as Charis grew she spent time watching her cook and learning how to do simple things. Life for the little family was happy and peaceful. For the most part, Mildred kept to herself in her own suite of rooms and Henry only came to visit once or twice a year. But even so, when he was there it seemed to Charis that the atmosphere changed and she felt her peace threatened.

  Walking to school was fun and only on rare occasions, when the weather was really bad, did they drive. If there was snow, Charis bundled up in her thick winter coat, woolly hat, gloves, scarf, and snow boots. In the rain she wore her wellies and they shared the big umbrella. Paul had a way of turning such mundane things as a walk to school into fun. They laughed at the funny stories he would make up about the things they saw on the way, or he would tell her stories about his childhood.

  Paul was the younger of two boys and he and his brother Philip had been close and shared many common interests. Both enjoyed writing and chose it as a career, but Philip decided to become a journalist. He got a job with a top newspaper and worked his way to being a war correspondent, a job he loved. He was good at it too and Paul was proud to see his brother's name on reports that came from many of the world's battlegrounds, until that dreadful day, when instead of Philip's news about the war zone, the news was about Philip's death. Killed in a bomb blast, he had died instantly. Paul had been only twenty when his parents had died in a traffic accident so with his brother's death he was now alone in the world. He concentrated on his writing and he was also good. It wasn't long before he proved to be very successful. He was twenty-seven when he met and married Elizabeth. She was twenty-two.

  The stories that Charis enjoyed most were ones of Philip and Paul as young boys and the things they used to do; they had a model railway their father had built for them in an attic room and a tree house in the garden, they played football in winter and cricket in the summer, they went off joy riding on their bikes, they hiked the hills close to their home in the Lake District, and went to Scotland for holidays in the summer. They walked Hadrian's Wall from coast to coast and took a bottle of sea water from the north Atlantic to pour into the North Sea on the other side of the country. A favourite summer holiday was when their parents hired a narrow boat and travelled the canals in the Midlands. Going up and down in the locks was always exciting for young boys. One year, as older teenagers, just the two of them went to the continent and travelled around for six weeks visiting as many countries as they could; France, Portugal, Spain, Italy and Switzerland.

  But nothing is this world lasts forever and Charis' young life was shattered the day her father died.

  It was early May when Charis was seven. Paul hadn’t been feeling well over the weekend but seemed more himself at breakfast on Monday morning, so she was surprised when instead of walking to school, her father got out the car and said they'd drive. He kissed her goodbye and said he'd see her after school, and with a smile and a wave he was gone. Charis never saw him again. He had a massive heart attack later that morning and died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. He was thirty-seven years old.

  Mildred found it hard not to gloat. Her time had finally come. Although she could not touch any of Charis' inheritance, she would have no trouble bullying a seven year old child, and she began immediately by banning Lady from the house. She’d never been able to abide “that dog” as she called her, and now she said that although it may have been Charis' house, it was her home and the dog had to go. So Charis lost her father and her pet who could have given her a modicum of comfort. Lady was sent to live with Stephen and Sue Ridley. Stephen was the manager of their home farm and was good with animals and they had three small children who already loved Lady. Charis knew they would care for the dog but missed her terribly. James, a solicitor, came down from London. He’d been Paul's best friend since school days and Paul had made him executor of his will and trustee of Charis' inheritance. He had a letter for Charis, one that her father had written to be given to her in the event that something happened to him, which she clutched in her little hand and read and re-read for weeks and months afterward. Fortunately, James proved to be more than a match for Mildred and held tight to the purse strings to keep Charis' fortune intact. Mildred kept her own allowance but all household bills were to be sent to James, and Mrs. Patterson was charged with buying groceries and the running of the house, which just left Charis for Mildred to boss around.

  From her bedroom, Charis could hear the arguments downstairs, with Mildred's voice dominating the others. Both Mrs. Patterson and James wanted Charis to stay at the village school for a few more years so she could be with familiar people and things. But Mildred was insistent it was “for the good of the child” that she should be sent away to school. New faces and new places would take her mind off her grief. In the end Mildred won out. On Friday, Paul's funeral was held. The next Monday Charis was taken to London by Mrs. Patterson to buy everything needed for school and on Friday of that same week, George Patterson drove her to Dorset to the boarding school that was to become Charis' home away from home for the next nine years.

  Charis' misery and grief almost consumed her. Missing her father caused her physical as well as emotional and mental anguish. Alone and lonely, there was no one she felt she could talk to and night after night she cried herself to sleep. Both the headmistress and the school matron tried their best to help but couldn't penetrate the barrier that Charis built around herself. The teachers were kind and the other girls friendly but Charis still felt isolated.

  It was always intended that Charis should go away to school, to
the school her mother had attended before her, but not until she was about eleven years old. Her father had registered her when she was very young and the headmistress agreed to take her early when she heard the circumstances, and agreed with Mildred that it may indeed be for the best. But as the weeks went on and Charis showed no signs of improvement, she began to doubt the wisdom of her decision.

  The summer holidays came, school broke up and Charis went home to Meadow Lea Hall, and to Mildred whose power knew no bounds. She had come into her own at last; Lady of the Manor, she enjoyed the feeling that it was all hers. No more did she keep to her own rooms. When Charis came home her life was made even more miserable by Mildred's bossy and bullying manner. Charis must sit quietly and not speak during mealtimes. Charis must not run around and make a noise. Charis must go to bed by eight o'clock each evening. Charis had jobs to do and could not play or read or anything else until all the work was done. She began spending more and more time with Mrs. Patterson as she went around fulfilling her duties as cook and housekeeper and supervising, as kindly as possible, the chores that Charis was assigned to do, and doing all she could to comfort and console the broken hearted child.

  In September, Charis returned to school and this time she was pleased to be there. The summer at home has been agonising for her. At school there was no Mildred. There was plenty to keep her mind occupied and always things to do. She was still a quiet child but clever and eager to learn.

  Before long she was working with girls a year older than herself and she started taking her music seriously and developing a real talent on the piano. Her best subjects were history and English – the love of both developed from her father, her gift of music inherited from her mother. She no longer cried herself to sleep at night, although she constantly missed her father and longed to be able to talk to him again, or to have him tuck her in bed at night, or sit and hold her in their big armchair and tell her more stories of his childhood. Very early in life Charis learned what it is like to be all alone amidst a crowd of people.

  Instead of home becoming a refuge from the world, for Charis, school became a refuge from home. She loved Meadow Lea Hall but hated being there now that Mildred had taken charge. She never went home for weekends or for half term and dreaded the school holidays. Christmas and birthdays almost ceased to exist. She would get a card and gift from James, and Mrs. Patterson tried to make some sort of small celebration for her, but there was no tree or Father Christmas to fill her stocking, no birthday cake with candles to blow out. Her birthday was in August during the school holidays so she didn't even get to see any of her friends. If she unwittingly upset or disobeyed Mildred she could be locked in her room and be deprived of food for hours on end. Mrs. Patterson would try to sneak something to her but Mildred seemed to have eyes in the back of her head and knew just when to be around to thwart the housekeeper’s attempts to help. But even that was preferable to being locked in the garden shed and left there overnight. Charis had never liked being left in the dark. She'd always had a night light in her room, but since the night in the shed the dark had terrified her. She’d been cold, hungry and unable even to close her eyes – listening to the sounds of the night and wondering what was out there lurking in the dark, just waiting to come and get her. George had come and released her at first light and it never happened again. Years later Charis wondered if the Pattersons had threatened Mildred. But being dragged to her bedroom and locked in was a regular occurrence, although she thought that much better than being in Mildred's company.

  Charis had done well at school. So well that she’d completed her studies a year early and won herself a place at Oxford, reading history and following in her father's footsteps. She still loved music but thought she would never be as good a pianist as her mother. She used her music, both playing and singing, as a solace to her loneliness. She found she could express herself and lose herself in it, but wanted to use it for pleasure and not a career as her mother had done. But just when it looked as though life was going to be good to her, she returned home and another bombshell was dropped.

  She was met by the news that Mildred was suffering from terminal cancer. Mildred, healthy, was unbearable to live with. Mildred, ill, was far worse. She wanted – demanded – to go to London where she felt she would get better specialist treatment. She couldn't afford it on her allowance so Charis must take her. Even though Charis offered to arrange it all and pay the expenses for her, she was still expected to go with her and look after her. She ranted and raved, she bullied and tried to make Charis feel guilty by saying she had dedicated her whole life to taking care of Charis and her mother before her. On and on she went until finally Charis felt she had no choice but to give in and take her, postponing her entrance to Oxford for a year.

  Paul had kept a London home, in St. John's Wood. When his parents died, the house in the Lake District, near Keswick in Cumbria where he’d grown up, had been sold. With his share of the proceeds he had put a deposit on a house, and had been fortunate to pay off his mortgage with the royalties from his first few books. He and Charis would live there on their frequent visits to London while he was still alive and it had never been sold. Instead, James had arranged for it to be rented on a long lease. As luck would have it, the lease was recently up and the house was empty, except for the basement flat which was occupied by the Chandlers.

  Sam and Eve Chandler were an older couple who’d lived in the flat for as long as Charis could remember. Sam owned a little second hand book shop which Charis had often visited and loved to potter among the books. Eve, Yvette really, was French. She and Sam had no children and had doted on Charis when she was young but they hadn't seen her since her father's death over nine years before. They were delighted to see her again and helped her and Mildred get comfortable in their new home.

  Pretty soon life settled into a routine. Charis realised that she was no nurse, so arranged for regular home care for Mildred. She spent her time taking Mildred for walks in her wheelchair, or for doctor visits or hospital appointments, reading to her, and running the household. She cooked and cleaned and shopped and had very little time for herself. Sometimes she managed to find time for her music, an occasional concert or playing quietly to herself on the piano. And once or twice she treated herself to a visit to the Victoria and Albert Museum or the Tower, bringing back memories of the wonderful times spent with her father. Mildred had been given six months to live but the six months came and went and then a year had gone by and she required twenty-four hour nursing care, which Charis arranged. By then Mildred was too ill to go for walks or need much attention from Charis, so she began to have time on her hands. She knew that Oxford was now out of the question so, hiding her disappointment, she resumed her musical studies. For months she’d been e-mailing Henry, begging him to come home and see his mother. All Mildred wanted and talked about was her son. Finally, after they’d been in London for almost eighteen months, he came. He was as unpleasant as ever, and he seemed to be watching her, as though sizing her up for something, but then he’d look away if she turned to face him or caught his eyes so that she was even more uncomfortable than usual in his presence. But it cheered Mildred up and that was all that mattered to Charis. Mildred, happy to see her son, was much more bearable than when Henry was not there. He stayed a week.

  When Mildred died, Charis was filled with relief. It made her feel guilty but she knew she was justified. In all that Charis had done for her, not once had Mildred said thank you. She behaved as though Charis was her servant and demanded more and more of her. Henry came home for the funeral but not until Charis had made and paid for all the arrangements, with James' help. Two days later Henry had gone again and that, too, was a relief. To start with, the weight off her shoulders felt so great that Charis wandered around almost in a daze. No more Mildred to boss and bully her around – she was now free to do whatever she chose. One of the things she decided to do was learn how to drive, and even though she didn't have a car, and wouldn't as long as she lived
in London, she thought it was a good thing to know how to do. When she received her drivers' licence she was proud of her achievement and felt very grown up.

  After a while she realised the house was too big for her. She approached James with the idea of buying another house. She could never sell the St. John's Wood house but she could lease it again and it would give her a good income…not that she needed it. The Meadow Lea Hall estate was pretty much self-sustaining even before the money that came from leasing the house. She had the money her father had left her, plus the royalties from his thirty-seven books which were still popular and selling well even more than ten years after his death. And, as well, every year or so the rights for filming another book were bought. She had plenty of money. James agreed to her request and she set about finding a house of her very own.

  After looking at dozens of houses, she finally found, and fell in love with, a mews house just a couple of streets away from the river in Chelsea. It was in quite a dilapidated state and with the help of an architect friend of James, who had also known her father, she decided on a complete renovation, including underfloor heating and solar panels on the roof at the back of the house which fortunately faced south. While the work was being done she stayed in the St. John's Wood house and continued with her music studies. There was a lot for her to do; choosing colours, flooring and tiles, and furnishings. When the house was finally finished, nine months later, she was very pleased with the result. Before the St. John's Wood house was leased again, Charis signed the basement flat over to the Chandlers. The day she moved into her Chelsea house she felt that at long last she was ready to start her new life.

  *****

  The e-mails from Henry had begun within a few weeks of Mildred's death. At first Charis tried to ignore them. He wanted her to go and visit him – he had no way of showing his gratitude for all that she’d done for his mother and he’d like to show her some of the work he’d done, some of the beautiful artefacts he’d found. He began another dig, and then on to another, and still the e-mails kept coming. When they became more insistent, she finally responded and said she was too busy to go, totally involved with getting her house finished. Then she had exams to take and couldn't leave.